a little fish in a big sea

My favourite places to think.

2012-01-03T18:29:00.000-08:00

My mind is, most days, a vault of chatter. Thoughts run a mile a minute and echoes bounce off the walls to create even more noise; and there's little I can do to calm them in the height of my every day.

But there are a few activities that ease my chatter; that give me enough focus to clear out the clutter and concentrate on working through just one idea at one time.

The first is my daily commute. I have the unfortunate circumstance of living outside of the city (blame it on paying off debt and trying to save a small little nest egg) so I commute in and out daily. My commute is about 2 hours in total (per day - gasp!) and I spend much of that time in my own head clearing the clutter. The monotony of the route and the cars coddling me on either side have turned my drives into somewhat comforting moments of clarity. Mind you, I'd happily rid myself of the commute in a heart beat, but for the time being, I'm making the best of it.

The second is the shower. I really enjoy my showers. I have always had a loving relationship with water; I enjoy feeling the running water on my skin and I enjoy how said running water tunes out everything else in the real world. This is actually my favourite place to really feel. To focus on one, perhaps normally overwhelming, thought and really let myself feel it. I sometimes have my most explosive a-ha moments while conditioning my hair.

Lastly is the yoga studio. And perhaps this is more a practice of clearing all thoughts and focusing on one intention (more than easing the chatter). But it's a practice that has, over time, given me strength and clarity. And it's this reason alone that brings me back to my mat when I've strayed. Yoga is one of those rare gifts that has been even better for my emotional and mental health than it has for my physical. I wouldn't trade my ability to practice for the world.

It's far easier for me to write this post than actually engage in calming the chatter, but it's something I think we all should do daily; if even for a few minutes. I'm often guilty of brushing it off. So, I've added this to my 2012 goals: Take a few minutes every day to clear the mental clutter.

5 Things: Recently Pinned

2011-12-06T06:26:00.001-08:00

Pinterest has become my favourite internet cataloguing tool. I'm a visual person, by nature, and the organizational possibilities mixed with it's ease of use have me absolutely hooked.

Are you Pinning yet; find me here!

Collar'd Tips

2011-11-18T06:40:00.000-08:00

If you've read this post, you're familiar with my love of collars. I sincerely, vehemently love them. And similarly, I also adore accessories. So when I saw these rose gold collar tips on Asos, I knew I had to have them.

I've tried not to wear them every day (I love them so much I probably could), but alas, here are three outfittings over the past few weeks.

fanciful interiors: oh christmas tree revisited

2011-11-16T06:19:00.001-08:00

One of my favourite things in this world are Christmas trees. My parents were never big on holiday decor, so as a kid I had to fight with all my might to get a big tree in our home. Years later I still feel that sense of joy and calm when I spot a tree that sparkles.

Some of my favourite versions as of late are made with some imagination. So, alas, here are a few of my favourites to add on to my list from last year.

This adorable little paper tree found on Chatelaine!

Isn't she adorable? I'm infatuated with this pint-sized tree found on the Holiday 2011 issue of Sweet Paul Magazine.

Sometimes a tree doesn't need to look exactly like a tree. This little ladder-esque version is pretty perfect. Found on christmaswow.com

I adore bare branches. The one above is from Apartment Therapy and the one below was found on Charcoal Interiors.

Sorta vintage, sorta charming, and all around awesome. It's the gallery wall of Christmas trees found on Home Design Find.

And last but not least, my absolute favourite. Made completely of jewels (both heirloom and found); I'm so freaking smitten. Made by Sadie Olive.

Collar'd

2011-11-15T06:57:00.001-08:00

I'm a hippie at heart. A hippie that adores menswear. Three out of 5 work days you'll find me wearing some sort of collar. Weather it's something as casual as a denim shirt layered overtop a dress, to a Theory shirt buttoned up all the way to the top. It's become a bit of a staple in my wardrobe.

Here are a few of my most recent collars.

fanciful interiors: mismatched dining chairs

2011-11-11T10:10:00.000-08:00

I love the idea of a dining room with character. Where each (or every other) chair around the table is as unique and beautiful as the person sitting in it.

A few of my favourites that I've been bookmarking lately...

Side Note: I was bad and completely forgot to save the sources for these images. :( My apologies...

unintentional inadequacies

2011-11-10T09:34:00.002-08:00

They say life is a mixture of luck, choice, fate, and consequence. (I'm not sure who 'they' are, but I might agree with the sentiment.)

I've often left gigs, not because I hated the people or I hated the place - but rather I left because I no longer felt challenged, I was no longer learning.

So a few months ago I took a new gig. A fairly large change; from a mom-and-pop-shop to a global gig. I now sit in on conversations, phone calls, meetings where I leave often feeling inadequate. Not because my contributions are belittled (or anything of the sort), but rather because I'm learning such big, substance-filled things every day that I often wonder if my sponge-like mind will be able to retain it all.

It makes me feel often nervous, sometimes anxious, but always thankful. Thankful that I'm in a position where learning is still allowed, hell encouraged. Life without learning would be a boring adventure, don't ya think?

If you ever stop learning, evaluate why you haven't moved on. If work no longer makes you a tad bit nervous (in the best of ways), ask yourself if you still care. A gut check every few months is necessary in this fast-paced world. It might keep you from regretting your decisions down the road.

And regret, my friends, is toxic.

somewhere out there...

2011-10-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

le sigh.

Inspired: How to Live Before You Die

2011-10-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

A visionary, a leader, a force to be reckoned with. Innovation will never have a more worthy frontman. RIP Steve Jobs.

fanciful interiors: dresser redo

2011-09-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about how to redo my room lately and I'll be starting on converting my dressers and vanity. So to prepare, I've been scouring the internets for inspiration. Here are a few of my favourites:

The above transformation is from Salvage Sally. I think it's amazing how she's kept the integrity of the furniture while still making it look fresh and modern. Swoon.

Apartment Therapy had an amazing catalog of different ways you can customize the Ikea's Rast Dresser (here and here). I'm completely floored by the imagination. I've definitely bookmarked this for future reference!

So next weekend, I'll be embarking on my very first furniture DIY: one vintage vanity, and 3 pieces of not-so-vintage (but rather ugly) bedroom furniture. I'll keep you posted on how it goes!

art envy: jerod gibson

2011-08-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

I'm obsessed (I actually just placed an order).

Typography has always tugged on my heartstrings. Perhaps it's my love for words that has created this affinity, but these prints by Jerod Gibson have me swooning all over my morning coffee.

You can see the rest of his work here. Seriously, it's too good to not make a purchase or two.

dress shopping: bridal edition

2011-08-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

Big sister is getting married! And well, we spent this past weekend perusing some of Toronto's most trafficked bridal shops with the hope that she'd say yes to the dress. For those who are going on this search in the near future, here's some advice: there's a lot of shit out there, be prepared to filter through the ugly.

We went to five different places:

1. David's Bridal - we went here specifically to try on Vera Wang's White label. While the dresses look beautiful in magazines and such, the quality left something to be desired. Big sister wasn't in love with anything she tried on and Muti (our gma, the matriarch of the family) was horrified by the less-than-acceptable fabrics and thoughtless raw edges. The experience was also not what we expected. Our bridal associate was more interested in getting us out before 8:45pm than anything else and we left feeling completely underwhelmed.

2. MRS Bridal Boutique - by FAR the best experience we had at any of the stores. This boutique just opened in the davenport/avenue area and if able, I would move in and live there permanently. The shop is beautiful, charming, and exceeded all of my expectations. The selection is a bit slim (they just opened after all), but the dresses they do have are absolutely beautiful, and the personal attention to detail and amazingly friendly service cannot be beat.

3. Jealous Bridesmaids - a complete waste of time for us. Though they asked us to take off our shoes upon entering, the sample dresses were mostly dirty and the sales associate was distracted and completely impersonal. I was very underwhelmed and actually even a bit annoyed by the experience we had here.

4. Ferre Sposa - a small-ish store PACKED with dresses. The associate was awesome and brought dresses that big sister didn't necessarily pick herself (actually, one of these dresses was the one...) and was great about offering an opinion without forcing it down our throats.

5. Becker's Bridal - This is kind of a staple in Toronto bridal fashion culture. The place was bustling with brides-to-be looting the racks looking for their version of perfect. Though the store is beautiful and they have a ton of beautiful dresses (my personal favourites were found here), the experience was a bit rushed and crowded.

To be honest, everything around weddings gives me anxiety (largely because of how expensive everything can get), but we had a wonderful time boutique hopping and making big sister step out of her comfort zone to try on different silhouettes. It was a successful day and I was just happy to be a part of it!

ox

i'm still here... promise

2011-08-05T05:17:00.000-07:00

Life has been quite the ride lately. And for this reason alone, I feel I have to get back to blogging; back to the cathartic outlet that this space had become for me.

The next two days are going to be difficult in my world; emotional in a maybe dark sort of way, but we'll get through it. We always do.

Hope you're enjoying this hotter-than-hawt summer frolicking in your sundresses and barefeet. I know I have....

where have i been?

2011-07-05T18:12:00.000-07:00

this is how life has been feeling lately...

I hope you're doing well.

happiness: defined

2011-06-07T18:22:00.000-07:00

Often, when you least expect it - life throws a massive curveball your way. And that's not to say that this metaphorical curve-ball isn't exactly what you dreamed and goaled for, and that's also not to say that it isn't what you've been working for - it just happened sooner than expected!

So Monday begins a new chapter - one filled with challenge and possibility.

I have butterflies in my tummy just thinking about it!

Photo borrowed from here.

life lesson: doors

2011-05-10T05:31:00.000-07:00

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

royally wed

2011-04-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

I wasn't that excited about the whole ordeal. In fact, I was rather nervous for the bride; I can't even imagine having to share your day, and all its details, with 3 billion people. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

But I was still fascinated by said details. Specifically the dress, the shoes, the hair, and the nails.

The dress is an obvious one. Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen coupled perfectly the modernity that is Kate Middleton and the traditionalism of the Royal family.

The shoes, an extension of the McQueen dress. I have yet to see the photos of this one...

I was so ecstatic that she didn't fall for the pressure and wear her hair up. In true Kate Middleton form, she wore a half up, half down look topped with a vintage tiara borrowed from the Queen. I mean seriously, you rarely see the girl wear her hair all up!

And I was pleasantly surprised with her choice of barely there neutral/pink nails. I would've absolutely hated seeing a french mani with that glorious dress.

The one fail in my mind was the bridal bouquet and the maid-of-honours floral hair-piece. Really, just baby's breath?

All-in-all I was happy that she didn't give up her individuality and conform for the sake of tradition. A breath of fresh air, really. And she did her own make-up! #swoon

And, I'll be honest - I've been rather infatuated with how honestly they've embraced social media through all of this. I think their lack of ego can teach something to all of us.

Photos from top to bottom borrowed from here, here, here, here, here.

art envy: white space

2011-04-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

my happy place....

Photo borrowed from Jack Heaton - a freaking creative genius!

captivated sole

2011-04-20T17:30:00.000-07:00

Every girl deserves this many red soles in her closet!

Photo borrowed from Elle Magazine and The Coveteur. Closet is Khloe Kardashian's. #swoon

N.B. If you happen to check out the article on Elle Magazine, take a gander at the rock on KK's finger. I just fainted a little.

words

2011-04-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

I have always been, and will always be, undoubtedly obsessed with words. My obsession came about in the throws of my early teens. Much to the dismay of my parents and older sister, I was a rather emotionally introverted kid; I preferred writing, to talking, about my feelings. Words (on paper) oftentimes were my only emotional outlet. Needless to say, I'm still very much drawn to written words. They give me clarity, help me navigate choppy waters, and supply my thoughts with some semblance of structure. And I suppose this obsession has turned into a serious appreciation for words as art: typography, poetry, painted words, inspiration, home decor.

I want to fill my future home with words. Words of all sorts; ones that capture a feeling, evoke an emotion, remind those who glance at them that they hold meaning. These little throw pillows do exactly that for me.

A bit of inspiration hanging out on your couch - by Inhabit.

My personal favourite: when was the last time you did something for the first time. It gives me goosebumps...

coachella loving

2011-04-18T16:02:00.000-07:00

Every year I say I'll be at Coachella the next year - and every year something comes up and life gets in the way. There's pretty much nothing I love more than the combination of fashion, art, music, sunshine, and california. Seriously, nothing. I streamed Coachella on YouTube and creeped all of the street style photos that were coming in (both on the internetz and on instagram - if you don't already follow thecoveted, you should) and I've been completely enamored with all of the hawt ladies in sundresses.

Next year, I'll be there - it is officially in my goals!

All photos borrowed from refinery 29.

fanciful interiors: wall mural

2011-04-18T05:42:00.000-07:00

Wall murals are like websites with full browser video - when done right they will blow your mind. And having stumbled upon this gem on poppytalk (borrowed from vtwonen) my mind has definitely been blown. When I have the time, this will definitely be a part of my future.

I am certifiably in love with this. Le sigh.

art envy: Toy Stories

2011-04-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

The best kind of art, in my humble opinion, does two things: it makes you think, and it makes you smile. Aled Lewis has managed to do both!

Quite a talented artist, he's vowed to create something every day of the year in 2011. But what has captured my heart is his series entitled Toy Stories. I'm pretty certain I'll be purchasing a print or two in the near future!

You can check out his website here or his facebook page here.

art envy: in environmental form

2011-04-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

I was blown away when I first saw this environmental art installation from Finnish artist jonna pohjalainen on the Free People blog. After doing a bit more research, I'm absolutely, completely, emotionally captivated.

It's beautiful, strong, and thoughtful - and has truly inspired me.

"Without sun there are no colours and life."

#truestory

for the love of language

2011-04-12T23:08:00.000-07:00

This is absolutely brilliant! I think we could all stand to appreciate language and words, and be more thoughtful with how we use them, a bit more...

recycled rubber envy

2011-04-12T17:29:00.000-07:00

I've been obsessed with recycled rubber shoes lately. And with the impending nuptials of my big sister, I can't help but oggle over these lovelies from Melissa shoes and miss Vivienne Westwood. In a rainbow of colours, these might easily be the most versatile, comfortable, and still freaking adorable for the big day that I've ever laid eyes on - they also come in a plethora of colours.

I'm also rather smitten with these little numbers. I spotted them at a shop on Queen West and a friend purchased them. I'm absolutely infatuated and I have a serious case of shoe envy.

Who knew recycled rubber could be so charming? Here are a few other Melissa favourites!

Update: looking back, there's a whole lotta neutral in this post. I wonder if this is a bit of theme in my life as of late?

write through it

2011-04-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

I have writer's block - serious writer's block. But a friend told me to just write through it, so here I am, writing away.

I feel like I've been holding my breath lately, waiting for something to happen. I've been holding it in so much that I keep forgetting to remind myself to breathe. So the next few days (and ideally the rest of my life) I'm dedicating to my breath. Because without it, my thoughts have the potential of completely consuming me - ain't that the truth.

Side note: I feel like this has become a recurring theme in my life (and on this here blog)...

us - redeux

2011-02-28T16:44:00.000-08:00

A little while back I posted a photo that I borrowed from Free People which I thought was quite reminiscent of my relationship with the american. He, however, disagreed. Mostly because, try as hard as I might, I'll never be able to get him to roll up his denim. Le sigh.

But after a bit of searching, I think these next few photos perfectly capture what the american thought the other didn't: the real us.

Photos borrowed (top to bottom) from here, here, here,

53 years ago, tomorrow...

2011-02-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

...the peace sign was born.

Oddly enough (or maybe not so oddly), I wrote about the birth 3 years ago here.

Side note: It's a bit crazy to think that I've kept this blog for over 3 years; though admittedly, I wasn't as comfortable using it as a cathartic outlet back then than I have been as of late.

The world is such a chaotic place and sadly it seems the notion of peace is quickly lost in the chaos. Perhaps tomorrow (and every other day) we can reflect, even if only for just a moment, on what the peace sign symbolizes. Though we may not feel its significance every day, now more than ever we need to remember its intention.

photo borrowed from here.

us

2011-02-17T17:58:00.000-08:00

A perfect representation.

Photo borrowed from Free People.

fanciful interiors - light it up

2011-02-17T16:25:00.000-08:00

I've been drawn to statement lighting lately. Well, to be fair I've been drawn to anything and everything decor related. I'm completely deprived of my own space to decorate so instead I conjure up ideas, and create magical imaginary spaces that I hope to one day bring into my reality. Lighting has been at the top of my list. I'm in love with light, and I'll likely end up dedicating a large portion of my decorating budget to it. Here are a few of my recent favourites!

These beauties by Posh Interiors I found in the UK shop not on the high street. Absolutely lovely!

Vintage rulers collected from all over the world by Designer Rory Dobner available at another UK shop Roost Living!

Anthropologie is one of my favourite places to spend a Saturday afternoon. Not necessarily because of the clothes (while they do have lovely clothes), but rather how perfectly thoughtful their visual displays are. This particular one had me drooling and will, I promise, one day be actualized in my future home. Photos borrowed from here.

I'm very attracted to neutral tones and natural textures. This antler chandelier is completely up my alley (the price however is way out of my range). You can find it at here.

Lastly, I'm a HUGE fan of driftwood. This particular chandelier has a future DIY written all over it as well! It's made by the talented folks at drivvt.

Love.

finery - Yigal Azrouël Fall 2011

2011-02-16T17:24:00.000-08:00

Let me preface this post by saying, I'm not a style or fashion blogger, and I don't aspire to be (let's leave that to the professionals). But I love fashion - always have, always will. Oftentimes, I look to some of my favourite style bloggers to inspire my own personal sense of style; the way they put together certain pieces feels oddly authentic and real to me and I'm drawn to the stories they create with their clothes. But I don't have that in me. Instead I observe and play, and sometimes something special catches my eye and I want to share the greatness with the world.

In this instance it was the Yigal Azrouël Fall 2011 collection. Completely masculine (ties, structure, suiting) with hints of femininity (think cinched waists, cropped pants, pops of colour), it is exactly how I envision big sister should dress!

All photos are borrowed from Style.com and the whole collection can be seen here.

finery - Rachel Roy Fall 2011

2011-02-15T19:29:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I found myself spending a bit of money. Truth be told, it was the first time I had ventured to the second floor of The Bay at Yorkdale Mall in quite a few years. So much has changed - I felt like a kid in a candy store with a ton of pocket change! I spent most of my time in two sections, Rachel Roy and Free People. And though I didn't come home with anything from Free People (dammit), I did come home with two purchases from Rachel Roy, an LBD and a tweed jacket - probably in anticipation for today's runway show.

In any case, the Rachel Roy Fall 2011 show was today, and I swooned at every look. Layers, textures, and prints that more than tickled my fancy! Seriously, I would wear everything that came down the runway, and the styling was absolutely impeccable.

All photos borrowed from Style.com - to see the whole collection, click here.

a side of cheese

2011-02-15T19:03:00.000-08:00

Days like yesterday are often more difficult than most for me. The constant desire to be with the american is amplified; the volume practically tuning out my rational thoughts. Truth be told, I'm a bit of a mess.

But I put on a smile, hide the hurt, and get on with it. After awhile, you learn that's about all you can do if you want to keep yourself (and those around you) sane.

Yesterday however, was a tiny bit more tolerable. A bouquet of flowers thoughtfully delivered to my office followed by a (skype) sushi date - yes, we both ordered sushi and ate it together whilst skyping - made my heart ache a bit less.

Our relationship has come a long way; I suppose that's typically how relationships work. They either evolve and get better, or they end. The american's thoughtfulness and attention to detail have caught me off guard as of late; and I love every moment of it.

And though Valentine's day might be just a Hallmark holiday, I'm kind of in awe of the beauty that accompanies the feelings of today. If people focused to bring the same energy they bring to this day to all the days in the rest of the year, the world would be a much nicer place.

Baby steps.

ps. this photo is actually a vintage wooden sign by the talented folks at not on the high street. And I need it, so badly.

finery - Jason Wu Fall 2011

2011-02-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

I'm a bit in love with Jason Wu. Perhaps it's because of his Canadian ties, or because he's only two years older than me and has accomplished so much, or maybe it's because of my fascination with the first lady, and her fascination with his designs. Most probably it's because of his ability to perfeclty combine subtle femininity in his completely androgenous esthetic.

His Fall 2011 was no exception. Swoon, I love them all...

Photos borrowed from Style.com.

art envy

2011-02-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

I'm so smitten with these valentine's day cards from Every Guyed designed by the talented Barbara Pala. I want to print these depictions of iconic couples out and hang them all over my future apartment as art! You can see the full collection here.

Can you guess all of the famous pairings?

the value of a person

2011-02-02T18:16:00.000-08:00

More often than not we're so overwhelmed with the ins and outs of our day-to-day that we rarely stop to think about the value of those around us; whether they be coworkers, family members, friends, or significant others. Sometimes it takes an absence, void of said person's presence, for us to truly understand their worth.

Whether it's in the form of work that is less impactful, less meaningful, and generally lacks that same quality it once had when they were involved.

Maybe it's a sister who's moved away, and though you talk to her pretty much every day, you still long to go on shopping adventures of coffee excursions on a whim - without having to book a flight.

Or if it's friends, who you don't get to see very often. Life has this funny way of making everything else seem so urgent that you forget to make time for those that matter - perhaps it's because you know they'll still be around when life decides to ease up a bit.

Perhaps even a lover, a continent away, thousands of miles between. Even though the decision may be by choice, it doesn't make the distance any less difficult.

Every so often we need to step outside of ourselves; outside of the chaos that mutes the things (people) that are most important. Sometimes we just need a moment - one filled with silence - to remember their worth.

Maybe this lesson would be best taught up front; so we wouldn't have to go be reminded of their worth through heart ache.

Perhaps we need to saturate our lives with busy work a bit less and appreciate a bit more.

photo borrowed from here.

goals: be more crafty

2011-02-02T14:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I stopped in to Chapters Indigo with some colleagues to try out the Facebook Places deal (you know, 40% off a book for checking in). So we checked in, and then I aimlessly wandered around Chapters, caffeinated beverage in hand, looking for the perfect purchase to compliment our market research road-trip.

Then it seemed almost too obvious - remember your goals! So, I looked for an employee to help me locate that little gem I'd remembered had been sitting on my 'I want' list for quite some time, I picked it up, took it to the cashier, and low-and-behold, she's all mine!

P.S.- I Made This is one of my favourite blogs to read and her creativity is completely inspiring. She also has a book! So this weekend, we're going to do a little crafting of our own! I'll let you know how it goes!

a favour of sorts

2011-01-31T17:59:00.000-08:00

Hey you, over there, reading this. I have a favour to ask ya.

Last year a friend's little sister started a blog called Must be Major. Not any old blog. A style blog. Not any style blog. A style blog from Canada!

She's one of the very few Canadian bloggers I've read whose style genuinely competes with her more famous, more established counterparts down south or across the pond. Fer real. I give you exhibit A and B (both photos stolen from her facebook page).

Now, there's one more week left of this little (huge) contest she's entered to be Refinery 29's next style blogger, and I would personally love it if you went over to the contest page (when you click on the link, look for the below photo) and 'heart' her photo - click on the pink heart, it's that simple.

If she wins, I can continue to live vicariously through her outfits and even more people can live vicariously through her style as Refinery 29's newest style blogger. In addition, I think it's about time a Canadian represented in the style-sphere, non?

Steph, forgive me for borrowing your photos! :)

swooning in shades of black

2011-01-30T18:22:00.000-08:00

I've long been in love with Rebecca Minkoff's entire line. And yesterday I spotted a purse (a M.A.B. Mini in black alligator) that spoke to me. A bit out of my price range, I toyed with the idea of splurging for quite a little while whilst walking around the store, purse in hand. Not getting very far in my decision making, I finally decided to call my voice of reason: my big sister. I explained to her my dilemma and the following words came out of her mouth:

"Buy it, it'll be a part of your birthday present."

So I did. Holy f*ck. I'm so in love with everything about it - though I do wish it came with a longer shoulder strap (I'll have to peruse psimadethis for some DIY ideas). And to top it off, this purchase is completely in line with my goal of more quality, less quantity. Double win!

Swoon.

winter blahs

2011-01-30T17:29:00.000-08:00

Every year around this time, a certain sort of melancholy finds a home within my emotional state. I like to chalk it up to seasonal affective disorder (s.a.d.), but said disorder has been completely self-diagnosed and holds very little scientific merit.

Usually I get by; focusing on school or work or hibernation. Usually it's not as difficult as it has been this year. This year, there's another player in the mix; this year I've been quite a bit more emotionally distraught about this whole long distance relationship thing.

I love the american with my whole heart, but some days I feel like I may be slowly losing hold on my sanity (okay, that's a complete exaggeration, but humour me won't you). Perhaps the very reason I write this post is simply to allow myself a bit of space to vent, to let it out, to get it off my chest. Maybe, just maybe, these typed words will be what pick me back up out of this persisting malaise.

Or maybe I'll just wait until the spring. :)

I would love to give the masterful photographer who took beautiful photo credit. But alas, I have no idea where this photo came from.

goals: professional betterment

2011-01-28T19:45:00.000-08:00

I've long been toying with the idea of doing some sort of schooling that's specifically related to my passions - that being the digital space. So over the next months I'm embarking on a journey that allows me get back into the educational swing of things.

My first course - an intro to digital photography. Conveniently, the american gifted me with a brand spanking new Canon dslr for christmas (ya, he spoils me), so it only makes sense that I should learn how to properly use this expensive piece of technology.

Behold, my first finished pieces!

P.S. for those skilled in the craft of photoshop, please don't judge! :)

art or something like it

2011-01-26T13:28:00.000-08:00

There are few things in life which I love more than this. Photo borrowed from inkedfingers.com.

i have faith.

2011-01-24T05:51:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite Andy Warhol prints ever.

the loveliest of lovelies

2011-01-20T18:16:00.000-08:00

Today a note landed in my inbox. And my heart was instantly filled with warmth.

Sometimes I forget that people actually read this little old blog. Some days it's dark and reveals the insecurities I try so hard to keep hidden, other days it's brimming with moments of inspiration I've collected in some form or other, but most days it's just a complete mess of my thoughts, interests, and passions and it surprises me that much of it even makes sense.

The words, thoughts, and ideas expressed here were once really difficult for me to get out - us emotional introverts find the idea of others knowing how we feel to be a bit intimidating. But as time passed, this blog became my cathartic outlet and often has been the saving grace in my most trying of times.

So if you're reading this, I hope you know that I appreciate you. A lot.

And if you're that lovely individual who left me that even more lovely note today: thank you. Your words made my heart warm.

photo source unknown.

strike a pose

2011-01-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

Last week I wrote about how fantastical it seemed to celebrate a digital birthday in the two digits.

And again today I find myself writing about yet another milestone (virtual) birthday; Vogue.co.uk is 15 freaking years old this year - mind you, she doesn't look a day over 8!

Happy Birthday Vogue.co.uk - may you always stay young and wrinkle free!

reminders

2011-01-17T15:01:00.000-08:00

Life has a funny way of throwing up reminders even when you're trying really hard to forget. When things get blurry, when the idea is more appealing than the reality, the universe (she's a tricky little one) pulls you back, reels you in, calms the waters.

I have a tendency to get a bit carried away with ideas; ideas that seem completely glamorous and sparkly and distract me from my goals. But when I've needed it most, and expected it least, the universe kindly gives me a kick in the pants as a reminder of the path I'd set on; my intentions, my goals, my future self. This particular time, the reminder came in the form of a friend.

Thank you, friend.

fanciful interiors - an ode to the gallery wall

2011-01-16T13:55:00.000-08:00

I'm a firm believer that every home deserves a gallery wall. It doesn't have to be anything too glamorous - a wall filled with children's art (in Ikea frames) would even suffice. So long as there exists some meaning to the art to the individual whose home this wall resides in, I'm all game. Here are some of my favourites accumulated through my internet searching the past few weeks!

All photos borrowed from Domino Magazine (Domino Mag is no longer in production, but its sister magazine Architectural Digest is) and Desire to Inspire.

happy birthday wikipedia

2011-01-16T13:11:00.000-08:00

It's a bit surreal to this that wikipedia started 10 years ago this past week - in internet time standards, that's virtually (ha!) an eternity.

So happy birthday to the website that continues to inspire all User Generated Content ideas (if only all my ideas had as much success as you've had) - may you become increasingly without errors, and may you continue to provide me with useful information about useless topics!

photo borrowed from designerwife.com.

i have died and gone to accessory heaven...again

2011-01-10T18:35:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched a special on Fashion Television; a rare (and almost lost) interview with the late Alexander McQueen. There was a really eerie sense of sadness to him in that interview; it hurt my heart a bit just to watch. But I can't seem to shake how someone so talented, so inspiring, could take his own life. And yet his name, talent, and legacy lives on - I suppose that's the silver lining within this darkness.
And how serindipitous that while I was doing some online reading post FT, I should stumble upon a few other pieces from McQueen S/S '11 collection. My perfectly perfect clutch has equally perfect shoes to match. The entire collection has me drooling and working hard to get my jaw off the floor.

The smallest details, the perfectly placed gromets, the overwhelming darkness - everything is absolutely beautiful.

i have died and gone to accessory heaven...

2011-01-09T11:48:00.000-08:00

Alexander McQueen - can you get more perfect than this?

2010 in photos

2011-01-09T11:43:00.000-08:00

It was a memorable year!

in love: with the sartorialist

2011-01-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

I have long been in love with The Sartorialist and this video makes me love him even more. This is a must see for anyone who appreciates fashion photography.

how true it is

2011-01-05T07:46:00.001-08:00

2011 goals

2011-01-04T18:56:00.000-08:00

take courses yoga quality not quantity eat better new york with muti exit strategy spend more time with my parents laugh harder wine country with the american be more crafty blog more often save trust deeper

2010 was an interesting year. A year filled with lots of clarity, a bit more calm, a sense of pure excitement for my future, and a really pleasant feeling of heightened self-worth.

2011 is going to be even better - so says my horoscope on the ever-trusty astrologyzone. The theme of my goals this year is betterment. The betterment of my personal self (mental and physical) and the betterment of my professional self.

I'm pretty excited to see what the universe will throw at me this year - I'm pretty much becoming a seasoned pro at curve balls!

Hope you had a lovely holiday!

shorty obsessed

2010-12-21T08:42:00.001-08:00

shorty obsessed by fouj.

I have been completely obsessing over shorts lately and with my whole new outlook on quality over quantity, I've instead been drawn to window shopping (online), instead of impulse shopping, to find the perfect pair. I love all of the ones above - it's so hard to decide!

fanciful interiors: oh christmas tree

2010-12-17T05:48:00.000-08:00

I'm a sucker for the holidays. Completely and utterly in love with all things festive. And lately I've been inspired by the creative holiday decor I've seen, so much so, that I wanted to share them with you! Happy Holidays!

Photo borrowed from La Mercaria - my favourite coffee shop in Toronto!

Image borrowed from Bright.Bazaar! Also, he has some other adorable Christmas decor ideas here.

Walter & Co - I love everything these Danes do - they can do no wrong!

Tine K is really inspiring. I love the slanted bare tree branches. Adds so much character.

The Glamourai's vintage Christmas tree. One of my favourite bloggers. Swoon.

And of course, the traditional tree - everyone needs one of these! Photo borrowed from here.

letters to my future self

2010-12-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

Two letters went out last week using futureme.org - one to my future self in 1 year and one to my future self in 5 years. I was completely real, defiantly honest, and did not for one second compromise who I am at this very moment in these letters; and I'm quite proud of myself for it.

I think this website is a really brilliant idea; a great way to remind ourselves of our worth because oftentimes life gets too busy for us to even remember. So think ahead, right down your goals, where you want to be in life in whatever time span, leave notes of wisdom and encouragement, create your future, and email it to yourself. Sometimes we won't reach our goals, but perhaps it's because they weren't meant to be reached. Maybe there's some bigger, better, and bolder goals that we need to focus on instead.

Whatever my future holds, I look forward to seeing how my goals compare to my reality - it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!

Photo borrowed from L'Officiel Homme 2007 as photographed by Milan Vukmirovic.

in my head

2010-12-12T18:02:00.000-08:00

I've been in a really frustrating head space as of late, and I'm not quite sure how to snap out of it. It's a struggle that's starting to wear me down - a struggle that will probably have me retreat into a state of seclusion. And with the holidays fast approaching, I'm not sure how easily I'll survive.

I'm constantly consciously calling myself out on my internal monologue; the deep negativities, the uncomfortable truths, the obvious darkness. But regardless of my awareness, they continue.

I'd love to just blame it on mercury and its freaking retrograde, and move on knowing I'll be past it in a few short weeks. But alas, we must all take responsibility for our thoughts and emotions, and even if it feels overwhelming, we'll get through it. Just remember to breathe.

Pity party - table for one.

photo borrowed from here.

romantical gestures or bust

2010-12-08T18:44:00.000-08:00

I have often wondered, in almost all relationships I've been in, the same thing. And sometimes I shy away from talking about it out loud for fear that perhaps these thoughts may actualize. But today, I'm feeling a bit brave.

If I were to walk away from a relationship (for reasons that didn't have to do with my feelings for the other individual) and throw my hands up in the air frustrated about a circumstance or happening with the boy I was in a relationship with, would he just move on or if somewhere out there a boy exists who would make a grand gesture - a big, huge, romantic declaration of his love - to win me back.

Maybe I've become a bit Carrie'd away (if you're a girl, you'll get this reference) with the whole idea of that i-can't-live-without-you sort of love. The love that makes you want to never live a day away from that person and scares your soul to think about ever losing them. And even if you may feel that deep, intense love..., does he? Would he make that romantic gesture, would he be that man if the frustrations became too much for me?

And if he's not that guy, if he doesn't want to step up in that way.. is he really the one?

photo borrowed from here.

etsy obsessed: black & white

2010-12-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

It's storming outside; storms of the winter variety. Winter and I don't always get along. I mean, I've had far too many frost-bitten car accidents, cold toes, salt stains, and tail-bone bruises in my life to know that winter normally means a fair bit of hibernation on my end. I'm not meant for negative degrees and I'll always be just a little bitter whenever that first snow storm roles around.

Side note: I cannot freaking wait until I can live somewhere warm and visit winter (only on christmas). I think this will really help strengthen our relationship. Until then, like a sulky child, I'll whine and complain in hushed tones so I don't annoy those around me too much...

By now you should all now how much I adore etsy. I've even pondered doing all of my future gift-giving from this site, but I'll likely have to compromise. And with all this white and black and grey outside, I've especially been drawn to this (sometimes boring) colour scheme - did you know grey is one of my favourite (non)-colours?

Victorian Style coat hanger from Post Road Vintage.

Felted acorns from City Crochet! Holiday decorating just became WAY adorable!

Pride and Prejudice Pillows from TwoStrayCats. Swoon.

Scooter Hand Towels by girlscantell!

I'll need two of these, stat. Seriously the most perfect mug I have ever seen by Brookish.

Happy Holidays!

fanciful interiors - dress forms

2010-12-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

I've always been in love with dress forms. I'm not a designer by any means, but the dress form reminds me of how perfectly simple beauty can be and I particularly love them incorporated into a living space. I have it in my goals to purchase a dress form (or two), but as I currently don't have a place to put them, I've been obsessing over rooms that have played with the feminine form. Here are a few of my favourites!

They all have touches of old whimsy. I can't wait to add my own kick of contemporary to the classic dress form - mixing old and new is a particularly favourite past-time of mine and I've been fancying a vintage dress form for some time now.

(Photo Sources from top to bottom: desiretoinspire.net, thisnext.com, countryliving.com, photo 4, photo 5)

Forever 21 Social Media Marketing Manager - my future gig.

2010-12-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

So I'm re-doing my goals, and there's one in particular at the top of my list - to become Forever 21's Social Media Marketing Manager. I haven't yet set a specific timeline, but I'm working on it!

I think at some point, one has to start practicing what they preach - so here I sit, putting my goals into the universe, and asking the universe for a little nudge to help them along.

If any of you reading this know of someone on the Marketing or Recruiting Teams at Forever 21, please let me know! I would absolutely LOVE an introduction!

I'm pretty sure this particular gig was made for me, non?

tides of change

2010-12-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

[I found this post sitting in my drafts folder from early 2010. And it's reminded me of how much things can change with just a little bit of planning, persistence, and perseverance. The sentiments expressed here truly warm my soul, and perhaps they'll also remind you that we really are not meant for mediocrity. Take a stand for your greatness; I promise to stand right there beside you, in support.]

I've always been one to embrace change; greet it at the door with a warm cup of tea on a cold night. And this time in my life, when stuff seems so temporary, has forced me to be an even more gracious hostess to this, often intimidating, neighbour.

So here I sit, amidst a change in season, emotional out-look, and goals and I feel a bit warm and tingly inside. I wasn't made to stay stagnant, and I sure as hell won't succumb to mediocrity. Life is a bit too short to be blind to the greatness we can accomplish.

Embrace change, create greatness from it. I have faith in you.

(Photo of Chanel Iman)

all the things we've done wrong

2010-12-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

Over 2 years ago, the american and I had a rather frank discussion. One that involved talking about awkward topics that were not comfortable to discuss after just under a year of seriously dating; us and our future. I was hesitant. I'm a bit of a skeptic and I didn't think I could handle it - but he reassured me in his calm and collected way. So we laid some ground rules, made a few promises, and I cried my eyes out.

I look back and I think I was rather naive. I thought we'd follow this perfect path, trimmed with flowers that bloomed all year round and grass that was always green. I thought the rules we laid and the promises we made would always stand - my glasses were extra rosey. Today, I know shit isn't always perfect. Things change, life happens. We've evolved as individuals and as a couple; and that's completely okay with me.

The first little while, I read a million and one articles, blogs, and books about how to make a long distance relationship work - I'm totally nerdy like that. And they all had similar themes: over-communicate always, plan your next trips to see each other and try to take turns traveling, and set a time-line as to when you'll be together. At least, these were the three themes that stuck in my mind over the past years. But, to be completely candid, we've stuck to almost none of them. First, it's hard to over-communicate when you have two emotional introverts. But, we've become extremely sensitive to each other's feelings and know when something is off (we also openly try to work on our communication). Second, we don't take turns. The american's job doesn't allow him to take much time off, so I'm often the one flying. But we definitely plan our visits ahead - in fact, we've already begun planning 2011. Lastly, we have no timeline. Originally we had a 3 year plan - but after I became completely consumed with the timeline to the point of (near) insanity (I have a bit of a problem with trying to plan my timelines a bit too much), I took that 3 year plan off the table.

Today, things are good. Really good. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be an even better communicator (I'm actually a great communicator about the good stuff, it's just when I'm upset that I find I shut down), I'd love to take turns traveling (but I know this is just not realistic), and I'd love to have a timeline. But life doesn't always work out the way you planned it to - and that's okay. Because today things are really, really good.

lacquer me up

2010-12-02T18:04:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty much obsessed with this.

I remember sitting with girlfriends on the weekends in elementary school and handpainting our nails to look exactly like this. Yes, by hand - we were much more patient back then. OPI has now made my childhood fantasies of antique-esque nails a grown-up reality, and it's called Black Shatter! I can't wait to get my hands on this next month (it gets released in January). The colour is actually a top coat and you can lacquer it overtop any nail polish. le swoon.

Bad.Freaking.Ass.

watch me

2010-12-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

I've been a bit obsessed with time lately - both metaphorically and with my accessories. I'm in this constant state of questioning and creating my life; and mostly I feel like things aren't happening as quickly as I want them to. I've realized that the timelines I set out as a young adult didn't come to fruition and most of them no longer apply. A chaotic sort of calm; it's intoxicating and frustrating at the same time. I want to know what my life holds, what the future will bring - but this feeling of not knowing, this itch that I can't seem to scratch - keeps me curious and constantly challenged. So if I can't control time, perhaps I can contain it... in watch form...on my wrist. (Ahem... Santa, I hope you're listening!)

From top to bottom: Triwa Greystone Chrono Watch, March by Marc Jacobs Sukie Gold Chain Watch, WEWOOD Date Watch (I'd like this light colour for myself and the black version for the American), and Toy Watch. Swoon...

etsy obsessed

2010-11-14T17:09:00.000-08:00

I've been a bit etsy obsessed as of late. Constantly perusing different curated lists filled with holiday ideas, decorating ideas, and just plain old inspirational material. I'm pretty certain I'll be doing more of this style of blog post - these little finds warm my heart!

pocket watch by oh hello friend (one of my favourite etsy jewelry shops).

It may be called a Wedding Chalkboard, but I'm not getting married anytime soon, and I think this would be great little addition to any gallery-style wall. Pretty much a necessity for my future home.

Cake trays. So lovely. Every kitchen needs a set of these!

Vintage canning jar chandelier. I love the juxtaposition of the new and old!

My life mottos in recycled wood form. Breathe and Love. Swoon. I also love pretty much love everything from this Minnesota-based Etsy shop (William Dohman). I want to have a wall that has a full collage of these beauties!

handles, really?

2010-11-10T18:31:00.000-08:00

How is it that when I finally passed over the quarter life century milestone (assuming I'll live to be 100) my body, and my outlook on my body, completely changed.

And by completely I mean that I look at photos from highschool (and even university) and I'm thoroughly bewildered. I weighed 95 lbs when I moved into residence that first year of university. And now, a bunch of pounds, hips moving away from each other, and love handles later, I still haven't come to fully accept this new figure.

These seemingly abrupt changes my body has seen this past year scare me a little [update: to death]. And I've realized that I no longer have the luxury of a speedy metabolism and iron stomach. I need to watch what I put in my body just as much as how I treat it.

Less dairy, more water.
Less stress, more yoga.
Less processed sugars, more natural juices.

My new year's resolution list continues to grow...

ceramically perfect

2010-11-08T17:53:00.000-08:00

I've had this itch to decorate as of late. But alas, no place to expend my designing energies. So instead, I scour the blogosphere and pull inspiration for my future home.

Today, I happily stumbled upon these little ceramic gems from Pigeon Toe Ceramics. A perfect addition to any home, any kitchen, any life. They'd be a perfect house-warming or holiday gift. J'adore.

The We are/So good together combination makes me swoon. How can ceramic be so perfect?

There are so many other fun little pieces of inspiration on this website. Even the creamers give me goosebumps!

Happy holiday shopping!

all i want for christmas

2010-11-07T16:48:00.000-08:00

my wishlist is filled with things that are completely not feasible - but hell, I aim to dream big!

gold menswear watch. I need to replace my vintage timepiece, and this marc jacobs version will do the trick! I've already left hints with big sister.

I'm a lover of (most) things floral. And I've been in a serious decorating daydream as of late - but since I'm trying not to collect too much stuff, this will only be a daydream (story to come at a later date...). This Blyth armchair from Anthropologie would be a lovely place to sip weekend tea and read, non?

I'm also a bit of an art geek, and I've always wanted to get more into photography. So for obvious reasons, a Canon DSLR is my best bet. I've been told by one of the best photogs I know personally, Nikki Ormerod, that Canon's capture skin tones best - I'm obliged to believe her, she's very talented.

Black cross-body bag: I need one. This one by Zimmerman is pretty much perfect!

The list keeps growing...

What are you wishing for this hoilday season?

under worn

2010-11-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

Every so often I wake up in the morning and feel a bit, well, unattractive. It's gloomy out, I pressed snooze one-too-many-times, and I feel bloated and sloppy. Those days my outfit choices run slim: nothing clingy, nothing too fitted, not too much skin. And mostly the day pans out similarly to how I felt waking up.

Until a few weeks ago. I woke up after two snoozes, it was still dark and rather frigid outside. But instead of reaching for my flesh coloured intimates, I opted for something a little more feminine and a tiny bit naughty. (Side note: I still wore something not-revealing and rather baggy over top; but my day was instantly lifted.)

Try it, next time you wake up feeling unattractive and grumpy, put on your most scandalous intimates and see how your day fares. I'll bet there's an extra bit of pep in your step.

Photo borrowed from popbee.

floral finery

2010-11-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit obsessed with prints lately - especially florals. I'm a firm believer in attire being a reflection of self - an expression of individualism. And prints keep me feeling alive and inspired, particularly as the weather starts to cool and the gloom sets in. Le sigh.

(Forever 21 dress, Rodebjer Candice Dress, JADEtribe Brigitte Messenger Bag)

moving on

2010-11-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

I feel relieved. Like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I set goals, create action plans for how to achieve them, worry over delays and obstacles that may come in the way, stress about not quite reaching these goals - but today, I finally let one go.

It was difficult. Really difficult. After almost two years of pining after one goal, it's hard to give it up. But sometimes we have to reevaluate our goals to ask ourselves if they're really right for us. We're not bound to those we set, nor should we feel as though we are.

I've grown, matured and evolved, so it's only logical that my goals should too. Don't ever break your back trying to achieve a goal just because you set out to do it. Goals are fluid and dynamic, the beauty of them is that they're an accurate reflection of where you are today and how that relates to where you want to be tomorrow. So keep a conscious hold over your goals; let them evolve, create greatness of out them, and don't be shy to change them. Don't ever let your goals define you, you define them.

We're a work in progress, afterall.

photo borrowed from Cent Magazine.

purple.

2010-11-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

I received the Facebook invite to #SpiritDay a few weeks back. At first I was thoroughly confused - did this have something to do with cheerleading or spirit fingers? But after actually reading the invite, it made complete sense. The past few weeks we've been digitally inundated with stories of bullying specifically towards LGBT youth - oftentimes the bullying leading to suicide.

Bullying. Such a stupid, childish, immature thing. Yet oftentimes it persists well into adulthood, driven by ego, insecurities, and/or both.

So I accepted the invite and wore purple that day to support the cause. But it's not enough. I don't think it's enough to wear purple on one day, agree with the sentiment, then move on. Bullying (in all forms) is a truly disturbing act and it saddens me that it's gone this far.

But, I have to believe that it gets better. We'll make it get better.

opposing opposites

2010-10-17T17:50:00.000-07:00

The yin and the yang. Two completely opposing ideas, thoughts, meanings - but when you combine them, that marriage of opposites is completely complimentary.

It's a delicate balance that happens to work for most things: opposites in a relationship, combat boots and floral prints, salty and sweet, masculine and feminine. But some instances this balance is much harder to reach, much more difficult to find.

My personal challenge over the past while has been finding a balance between present and future. By nature I'm a future oriented individual. I create goals, I map out my path, I assign timeline; I live today to create my tomorrow. Make sense?

Perhaps it's this limbo I'm in - one foot here, one foot there - that has created such an unsettling imbalance that tests my patience daily. It has become an inability to plan for the future and it takes away my ability to live completely in the now. Maybe (and I'm being completely wishful here), but just maybe this will challenge me to remain grounded in the here and now without trying to control the future.

Honestly, it's doubtful. I'm wired to dream possibilities and actualize them, and it's served me well so far. So, here's hoping something completely enlightening comes out of all of this uncertainty. I've got my fingers crossed...

floral top forever 21, combat boots penny loves kenny.

the skin i'm in

2010-10-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

I'm past my teen years, past my young adulthood, and working towards my late 20's. So why is it that I'm still breaking out like I'm 15. Seriously.

I've concluded (after trips to a dermatologist and naturopath) that it's likely a combination of my skin changing - yet again - and what I'm feeding my body.

I can't do much about the first part. Really, I see two culprits: an excess of dairy and an excess of processed sugar.

The past two weeks I've cut back on dairy products in my life - most of which included my morning latte, my afternoon cappuccino, and my evening hot cocoa - to be replaced with tea. Lots and lots of tea. David's Tea has been a saviour in my darkest of times.

The second step, cutting down on sugar, won't come as easily to me. But I need to do it; if not for the winter insulation that threatens me of what could come in the next months, but for my skin and sanity's sakes.

I'm taking my skin back, dammit.

photo credit.

om x3

2010-10-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

I've started doing yoga again. My internal dialogue was becoming too chaotic, too crazy - my sanity was starting to be tested in a serious way. My path to mediating this crazy is two fold: yoga and writing.

Conveniently a new studio opened up literally right beside my office building: Power Yoga Canada (PYC) in Liberty Village. It's very different than the Moksha practice I was so deep into in the past years - but the challenge feels good. I feel my strength increasing and my chattering monkeys getting a bit quieter each class. Such a lovely feeling.

I had so many ideas about where my yoga practice would go this year, but juggling the hand I've been dealt with life means I have to prioritize. So I'm keeping my expectations simple while really working to actualize the goals I've set out.

I will be practicing yoga 3x every week by December 2010.

This post is another way to keep myself accountable!

financial goal$

2010-10-07T18:37:00.000-07:00

Last month I sat down with big(sister) to discuss my finances. I haven't always been the best with my money - especially in my adult years - but I've set a hefty goal of paying back student loans and being completely debt free within 4 years, and I had to find a way to reach this goal.

So big created a financial plan for me: an elaborate excel document with linked sheets and interest rates (I was overwhelmed with geeky delight)! And it started the first of this month.

To be honest - I'm finding it a bit stressful. The holidays are looming, travel to see the american is creeping up (x2), and I'm forced to be better at not splurging on those boots I've been eyeing. le sigh.

My new year's resolution in 2010 was to pay off all of my credit card debt (living in LA for a year ain't cheap). So I cut up my credit cards, buckled down, and paid up. So I know this can be done and I'm determined to see this through successfully.

Wish me luck.

an open letter to my BHAGs

2010-08-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

You, yes you. I see you over there, just out of reach. I think about you everyday and devise strategic plans on how to reach you. And I'll admit, you make it tricky. You're lofty and convoluted; you twist and turn, often transforming into something almost unrecognizable to what you once were. I organize you into charts, I map you out in excel. I hope you know exactly how much effort I put into you.

Over the past 7 months you've changed more times than I can count, and you'll continue to change - I've finally embraced that. I'm okay with your constant evolutions and your ability to do so in a whim. Shit changes; we grow, we evolve, we dream bigger.

I have a massive crush on you. Seriously, massive. I can't imagine what my life would be like today without knowing what I'm working toward for tomorrow. Today, I create, plan and execute, until tomorrow when I can tuck you neatly in my back pocket and dream something even bigger.

Goal big or goal home, non?

Photo borrowed from lululemon athletica.

summer lovin'

2010-07-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

Sunshine, iced coffees, open-toed shoes.

Summer dresses, warm rain showers, sun-kissed skin.

Bright blue skies, bare legs, the pre-fall collection.

Patio playtime, bbqs, no socks.

There's a renewed energy in the air; an overall feeling of contentment. I try not to complain about the often extremely humid heat, I soak in as much vitamin D as possible, and I take comfort in the birds who awake at the crack of dawn and take stage with their song as my morning alarm clock.

The Summer season may very well be my favourite time of year (although, I likely will also say this about the early parts of autumn). Knowing this will quickly pass makes me sad, but in this moment, my soul is fed and I am happy.

sans a/c? no problem!

2010-07-05T17:09:00.000-07:00

Top 5 things to do if your without a/c and don't have access to a swimming pool.

5) Hang out at the mall - that place is ALWAYS frigid.
4) Beg a pool owner to adopt your ass for the day. Take over some beers, perhaps some meat for the bbq, and relax. Or, invite yourself over to a friend's (who has a/c) place. Take some chilled wine, and catch up.
3) Lay nekkid in front of a fan. Seriously, it'll help you cool down.
2) Find a hotel roof-top (with pool) and set up shop on a lounge chair. Buy many beverages and get a tan.
1) Pretend your 8 again, and run through the sprinkler on your front lawn. We've all had the urge to do this at some point in our adult life. So if you find yourself panting in the summer heat without a/c or a swimming pool of sorts - turn on the sprinklers!

What are your favourite things to do in the summer heat?

It'll be a hot one this week; stay hydrated!

do what you love

2010-07-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

I've gotten a bit of slack over the past few years for not following the path that I had originally set out on way back in the day. I'm not sure why, but at some point in my formative years, I decided I wanted to become a doctor. And I'm by no means knocking this choice - doctors are truly a special group of individuals who I admire and respect wholeheartedly. But somewhere in the early part of my undergraduate education, I consciously realized I was no longer on this path for myself; it seemed I was only on this path because I had set out on it in the first place. The next 3 years were extremely trying as I was essentially going through the motions without realizing how heartless learning had become for me.

And here's the thing; I'm a firm believer that learning has to be filled with heart. I personally never wanted to hate my job while making a boat-load of money (not that there's anything wrong with this). The preference is to love what I do, because putting heart into it will, without a doubt, help me succeed regardless of the subject matter within which I work.

Here's a big pat on the back to those who have broken the mold and followed their passion. The world can always use a bit more heart, so thank you for inspiring me to do the same.

photo courtesy of ilovestrawberries

I'm getting good at making bad decisions

2010-07-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

feeling inspired...

I wish.

I wish means: wouldn't it be nice if...

If you always make the right decision, the safe decision, the one most people make, you will be the same as everyone else.

Always wishing life was different.

I want.

I want means: if I want it enough I will get it.

Getting what you want means making the decisions you need to make to get what you want.

Not the decisions those around you think you should make.

Making the safe decision is dull, predictable and leads nowhere new.

The unsafe decision causes you to think and respond in a way you hadn't thought of.

And that thought will lead to other thoughts which will help you achieve what you want.

Start making bad decisions and it will take you to a place where others only dream of being.

words borrowed from this amazing book, photo borrowed from the interwebs (but I'm not exactly sure where...)

the theory of relative commitments

2010-07-01T12:26:00.000-07:00

Commitments are a funny thing. Most people don't like making them, and when they're made, they're often questioned - regardless of the length of time invested.

So you've been seeing this boy. Things are swell, he's charming and funny, and says all the right things. And then you have that rather frightening conversation and you (finally) commit to being exclusive and sticker on those titles - perhaps you even change your relationship status on facebook. And miraculously, out of nowhere, you get a text message (often more than one), some fb messages, maybe even an email; all from boys of the past tugging on those memories that have made an impression on your heart. It's a pretty familiar story to most females.

I have this theory.

The universe is tricky. It likes to test our decisions. These boys obviously stayed in the past for a reason, the demise of those relationships was, in those moments, inevitable. But here they are, making us question this commitment we've just made to this wonderful new man. Sometimes the commitment sticks, because sometimes it's easy to remind yourself why those relationships ended and look forward. But other times (a very small percentage of times) the doubt they've raised is a red flag that never really goes away and in turn ends this new relationship prematurely - and likely for good reason.

This is my theory, which I've affectionately dubbed the theory of relative commitments. Recently I feel as though this theory might have a more inclusive application. The universe, after all, is tricky and she likes to test us; whether we're emotionally ready or not. And these tests aren't to fuck with our lives or bring doubt where doubt doesn't exist. It's to open our eyes, minds, and hearts to the possibilities and allow us to really make a whole and honest decision.

So bring it on, universe - I'm (finally) ready.

photo borrowed from the Dutch Bicycle Company (I want a bike from here!)

a pebble in the pond

2010-06-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

For anyone that plays on the web - blogs, tweets, facebooks - there's a bit of stigma associated with it. There are the naysayers that are quick to judge and remind us that the world doesn't care what we have to say. Perhaps they don't. And yes, sometimes I quip that the blogosphere is filled with egocentric characatures of individuals neatly tied up in one (or multiple) page(s); a continuous stream of consciousness brought to life through timely blog posts - and then subsequent tweets and facebook messages to spread the word.

Hell, I suppose I'm part of this crowd, non?

But there's something completely intoxicating about being a part of this here little web. It's a community of sorts; buzzing with life at all hours of the day (and night). Sometimes we don't agree, sometimes characters clash and opinions segment. But to be able to say what you want, when you want, how you want - is an exercise in democracy that makes me a bit giddy.

I may not update this here blog as often as I'd like, and maybe my shit isn't very interesting, perhaps it even stinks. But that's a part of the charm. It's not always going to be exciting; sometimes it'll be effed up and difficult, and most of the time people won't care. But here I sit, pouring my heart out onto this little page, updating my stream of consciousness and sharing my (social) life so that maybe, just maybe, it makes a difference somehow.

Ps. I'm not quite sure what this difference is quite yet, perhaps one day I'll figure it out. And when I do, you'll be the first to know! Promise.

photo courtesy of http://ssshortzzz.multiply.com/

post quarter life crisis

2010-06-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

I'm only a year past, but I feel no older than about 21.

If we've ever met, you know that I look about 18, I am as playful as a 12 year old, and I have the sweet-tooth of a pubescent teenaged girl. So, now with this career-paving new gig, a stable and supportive group of friends, an american that sticks by me regardless of the hormonal outbursts that sometimes go hurling his way, parents that are finally letting me spread my wings, and a sister to lean on no matter how bloated the load I carry - I'm really starting to settle into this new groove.

But I don't feel as old as I am.

And maybe this age thing has changed, evolved, grown. Maybe it's gone from something that defines our maturity to something that's really nothing to throw parties over. I used to love the month leading up to my birthday; counting down to birthday presents, waking up to birthday cake, reading silly birthday cards. Those ribbons and bows sorts of shindigs now just make me feel a bit uncomfortable and far too old - and perhaps rightly so. I do however love quiet personal celebrations: sleeping in, lovely dinners, and loads of wine. But that's not to say I don't love a great party, but instead of my own bidet, I'd now much prefer celebrating yours.

Here's to a lifetime of celebrations, friends.

les animeaux

2010-06-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

Eccentricities. They're my favourite. Seriously. Each of us - every single person in my life - has their own little quirks; that special little something that makes them unique. Oftentimes I like to wear my own personal eccentricities on my sleeve (fashion is my favourite avenue of expression, after all) so when I saw these little gems on one of my favourite blogs, I was overcome with excitement! I want all of them... fer real.

Check out TsuruBride's Etsy page for a full stock of her items. They're absolutely fantastic - and she does custom orders! Swoon. (Check her out on twitter too!)

Friends, expect the next year of birthday presents to be filled with etsy surprises! Here are some of my faves (though I love all of them):

I need a custom created mouse clutch! ps. Thank you JD(W) for introducing me to these beauties!

love, long distance

2010-06-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

Approximately two years ago I (and the american) embarked on a rather arduous and oftentimes exhausting journey. When we made the decision to pursue this, we had been dating for approximately a year. It wasn't a long relationship at the time, but with a bit of hesitation (and a little push from him) I blindly jumped head first into this long distance love affair.

When people find out about my relationship's mileage I most often than not get the same reaction: one of confusion and of baffled wonder as to why two seemingly intelligent people would willingly put themselves through the heartache of seeing each other only a handful of times a year. I know it’s crazy and I know our situation isn’t ideal, but shit... I love this man.

Sometimes things aren't so rosy. Sometimes we can't understand (or stand) each other. Sometimes we're given the opportunity to wipe our hands clean of this emotionally straining situation. We've had ample opportunity to unravel our lives from one another, to remove the tethers that keep us attached; and perhaps any of those opportunities may have been the sensible option.

But love isn't always very sensible. And perhaps that's the part I enjoy most; love is void of reason, logic, and strategy. Love is letting your heart be - completely, vulnerably, wholly - with someone else's without limitations and boundaries. So we do our best (regardless of the miles between us) to compromise, to be open and honest, and to have the best of intentions.

We’ve had our shares of ups and downs (lots more downs than I’d like), but the funny thing about love is its ability to easily uproot your world and everything you once imagined only to create something very different in its place. This new world may lack those magical bells and whistles I once dreamt of as a little girl, but in their place something much more exciting exists: real, tangible possibilities.

We're (I'm) not perfect... but that's a part of the adventure, non?

bring your alibis

2010-06-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite places: California. The state with varied landscapes and varied lifestyles, rolling hills and rolling earthquakes. I loved her from my very first trip to San Francisco years ago. But now, with the american having planted his roots in sunshiney Los Angeles, my trips out to California have become more frequent and my attachment to the sun, sand, and surf more intense.

Our visits often revolve around a few distinct things: friends, beach, and food.

The first is obvious. The friends that I've made (mostly through the american, but they're rather awesome nonetheless) I see about twice a year - so getting to spend time with them is always special. They're a smorgasbord of personalities, each individually interesting and wholly lovely.

The beach speaks for itself. If you know me at all you know that I'm a sucker for the sun, sand, and surf. Spending time with the Pacific is a humbling experience. To know you are so miniscule in comparison - almost negligible to mother nature - is a challenge of epic proportions. Make yourself known, be extraordinary.

And lastly there's the food. I've been fortunate that the american is also a rather big foodie. We love good food, and some of my favourite restos rest in this city by the sea. From North Carolina style BBQ to the very best Mexican food...I'm hooked.

So as I sit here in Terminal 2 at LAX, I'm sad about this visit coming to an end. I've never been very good at saying goodbye. Ain't that cliché? So I try really hard to hold back tears and remind myself of the excitement that awaits upon my return to Toronto. New job, summer sunshine, renewed sense of purpose: it's (almost) overwhelmingly exciting. Only a five hour flight stands between.

Mr and Mrs Wonderful

2010-06-01T17:39:00.000-07:00

I can't say I've been to a ton of weddings, so perhaps my point of reference isn't the most rounded. But from those I have experienced, the nuptials of Mr and Mrs Wonderful were definitely something extra special.

It wasn't a pretentious day, filled with intimidation and far-too-formal details. Instead, it was a personal, intimate, lovely reflection of the bride and groom's love.

side note: I'm in love with their love.

We arrived in Montrose on the quaint little Honolulu Ave (imagine Unionville Main Street, but in CA) that had been barricaded off for the Dungca/Weatherby wedding. We checked in and were given a parasol to shade us from the insanely hot sun that had come out to play. A glass of cold white wine and some mingling, and the ceremony began.

The ceremony was lovely - short and sweet, just how I like it. Their personal vows were charming, affectionate, and funny - and their general interaction with the crowd made you feel more a part of the wedding than just a voyeur.

Then hors d'ouevres, bevvies and laughter carried right into dinner and the reception. I'd like to take a brief moment to touch upon how AMAZING the food was. Unlike the usual sort of banquet hall meal, this southern-style bbq explosion was a delightful (and yummy) change. I was in food heaven - everything was delicious.

Dinner was followed by speeches, which were followed by more bevvies, ice cream from a local parlor, red velvet wedding cake (to.die.for), and dancing.

I feel very thankful to have been a part of this Wonderful day. They've set the bar rather high; I can only hope the weddings I'm invited to in the future (and perhaps even my own) live up to this standard. The wedding wasn't about how expensive shit was, it was a celebration of their love, and it was uniquely their own.

le swoon.

hold on one sec, i'm imagining.

2010-05-26T13:25:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months I became involved with a team of (relatively) recent University grads to launch a charitable foundation. The redseven charitable foundation isn't your average charity. In fact, there's not much that's average about us - and this is one of my favourite things about this team. This team is a dynamic, intelligent, big-idea sort of team. A group of people from various walks of life with one intention:

raising awareness for the global education cause, and then passing on their knowledge to as many people as possible.

Our inaugural event happens this Friday - just a few shorts days away! And the excitement is almost overwhelming! And I'd like all of you to join me.

side note: yes, I'm admitting that a few people may read this here little blog, and if those few of you are free on friday, would you be so kind as to join me at imagine a world as my date? I mean hell, you probably know me better than most; you've read my internal monologue, you've sat with me as I sorted through my crazies, and yet you still come back here. So be my date, will ya!?

All of the proceeds of the event go to our goal, in partnership with Free the Children, of raising $12,000 to build a primary school in Lai Gow, India. It'll be a night filled with an amazing art auction (donated by local artists), live art (yes, street artists will be creating masterpieces that will go up on the auction block), DJ Kid MK, an acoustic band, tasty hors d'oeuvres and drinks! On top of all that, you'll lend your voice for a cause that is so completely relevant to our generation. Not everyone is as lucky as we have been...

You can purchase your tickets here, and then check out this little contest for a chance to win a DJ Hero!

Hope to see you Friday night! We'll have a bevvy and toast to making a difference!

With love and learnings,

fouj

that girl

2010-05-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

The female stereotype... It exists, and more often than not it's thrust in your face as a reminder that we're a needy, whiney, emotional bunch. Mostly, I work really hard to break this stereotype, to prove that females aren't the simply dramatic beings males (and advertising) make us out to be - at least in my own life. But I'll admit that once a month, my filter is forgotten, my independence put aside, and my inner Fran Drescher out in full force. It sucks - for all parties involved. But I've learned that these moments of frustration - of verbal vomit - happen because of something else that's been festering. And maybe it's because I work so consciously to break this stereotype that I push aside those instances when shit is really bothering me. And then once a month, my conscience says 'eff it' and unleashes this overly dramatic monologue it's been internalizing.

Side note: in all of the aforementioned instances of chaos, the american truly is a beacon of clarity, of calm. I don't know how he does it sometimes. But he bites his tongue always knowing that in the morning I'll be back to my reasonable self; and I always am. He's quite a gem.

What I'm learning through this process is that in these moments I need to remember to be more self-aware. To step outside of my craziness and reflect on my own personal shit. I struggle with this at times. And some months it's harder than others. But I don't believe in blaming it on hormones and moving on. Not taking any responsibility removes a sense of personal control, and I really like being in control.

Hopefully I'm on the right track; admitting is the first step, after all. Right?

cleanse-ing, sorta.

2010-05-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

I've been eating like shit. Indulging happens to be one of my favourite sins - hell, life would be a bore if we didn't stimulate our senses every so often (emphasis on often). I'm a big old foodie at heart.

So I've been toying with the idea of doing a mini-cleanse. And after a serendipitous reminder this evening, I've decided I'll start tomorrow.

One week of only fruits/veggies/nuts/legumes/herbal tea and lots of water. No meats, so seafood (gasp!), no junk, no alcohol.

I'm certain my body will love me for it, but I'm nervous about the cravings that may surface and if I'm emotionally strong enough to keep them at bay (dramatic, but I have a serious sweet-tooth).

My mantra for the week: It's only seven days.....

(I'll keep you posted.)

future-professional-self

2010-05-16T23:51:00.000-07:00

Dear future-professional-me,

I hope this letter finds you doing amazing things. I'm writing because I don't want you to forget the smallest of lessons you've learned the past three years - I want you to remember them, and I want them to serve as reminders for the person you are destined to become.

Future-self, don't be alarmed if you aren't perfect. Perfection is, after all, boring. But remember to always learn from your mistakes; to find the lessons in your hiccups and to take strides in making positive changes. You're not a robot, so be prepared that every-so-often shit will hit the fan, and when it does you can't forget to breathe.

Remember that a good manager is an example for their team, but that a great leader is a champion for the greatness of each individual on their team. Remember that the creative process can be a difficult one, but that you should never pass judgments on ideas - because some of the greatest concepts came from rather (at the time) absurd ideas. Remember to always be transparent: with your team and your clients, (also remember that this lesson is one that transcends professional boundaries) - remember that honest communication is the most efficient and effective precautionary measure to avoid misinformation and will save you from rather large headaches down the road. But also be wise to the amount of information you share. Don't over-share when it isn't necessary. The world isn't always ready for your type of honesty.

Future-self, I encourage you to really know your people. You don't have to love every single one of them; hell you don't even have to like them a whole lot. But if they're hired for a reason take comfort in knowing you only hire the best and respect them for the job that they do. Leave the bullshit at the door (and make it a rule that your team does as well), and always put your team first. Your team is your biggest asset, your most powerful weapon: encourage them, elevate them, challenge them, and bring out the best in them. Always practice what you preach, lead by example (and without title), and never be a hypocrite.

And when the work day is done, remember that you exist outside of your professional role. You are a sister, a daughter and a friend. And by this time, you are (hopefully) a wife and mom. Be proud to carry the weight of these roles. Continue to foster these relationships and nurture your own soul. Don't get lost in the day-to-day. Forgetting you're human is doing a disservice to both you and your team - be empathetic and cultivate that humanness in those around you.

And lastly, future-self, love. Love your career, love the work that you do, love your family, love your friends, love your life, and even through the thick of it all, don't forget to love yourself.

The sheer idea of you gives me goosebumps. I can't wait until we meet!

With love,

me.

fifty percent

2010-05-13T22:03:00.000-07:00

Though my career path has been relatively short, my goals have been a-plenty.

Side note: I previously worked at lululemon - a company that reaffirmed my belief in (repeated, reworked, reorganized) goal-setting, and now I'm a bit obsessed.

There have been two goals that have taken up most of my bandwidth professionally. The first goal was my initial taste of heartbreak (career-related heartbreak, but broken nonetheless). I was so swollen with passion and longing that when it didn't come through - as hard as I may have pushed - I not surprisingly popped. And at one point I was seriously down on myself. I thought maybe these goals were meaningless - but I never really doubted my direction.

Then, one day, I had a moment. It wasn't all that spectacular, though maybe the story would be more interesting if it was. I sat in bed, lazily scrolling through the plethora of articles on digg, and I consciously realized how much I loved this (digital) space. So I picked myself up and dusted myself off.

And it only made sense that I would then redo my goals. So I did; over and over again. In not so many words, I made shit happen. I didn't wait around for someone to hand me the opportunity - I've found people don't like handing shit out - but I kept knocking on doors until someone finally let me in.

The second goal has a bit of a happier story. After countless cover letters and applications submitted, tons of first (sometimes even second and third) interviews, and a bunch of rejections later (my skin is now quite thick) - I've landed something I think is going to be so much more than a job, but rather a complete experience. In a few short weeks, the agency world beckons, and I will meet its call with mind wide open. I'm so excited!

PS. The goals are now in the process of being reworked, again. Bigger, better, and more brilliant than ever before. And maybe one day I'll check back on that first goal, just maybe.

lovemade

2010-05-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

So the american forwarded me along a press release a few weeks back. And I had completely forgot about it until this morning as I sat in bed cleaning out my inbox. How could I have forgotten about this?!

Most people that know me, know I have a bit of a purse (shoes, jewelry, and all things fashionable) obsession, so this email from the american didn't strike me as odd, instead I thought it was thoughtful! And well, I definitely drooled.

I wasn't very familiar with Linda Lovemade or even Matahari (was I living under a rock all this time?) until this email, and I'm so smitten.

This little collaborative bag comes in two colours (I want both):

1)“COLOR ME BAD” (multi-color) features a black suede base with magenta, and pastel shades of blue, yellow and purple leather appliquéd on the surface of the bag in a mosaic inspired pattern.

2) “PEEK-A-BOO” (black perforated leather) is a more subtle and classic option, made of a custom perforated leather with underlying gold foil that shines while peek-a-booing through the holes.

AND, it's only $90. le swoon.

They're so fun and easy to wear! And I love the gold chain detailing and the use of textures.

I need one (or both) of these asap.
oh and follow the lovemade team on twitter: @iheartlovemade

finalities

2010-05-12T17:47:00.000-07:00

Funerals hurt my heart. I suppose as we get older we learn how to manage ourselves in these heart-wrenching moments; but today, I was a mess. Standing in the cemetery cloaked in black, I watched as a mother of two, and newly labeled widow, sobbed and wailed clinging to the casket her partner in life rested in as it was put into the ground. Her sobs deep and longing, she wore her broken heart for everyone to see - and I felt my cheeks stain with tears because of how horribly I felt for this woman, for her two (grown) kids.

Death is a strange thing. To those it affects - whether directly or indirectly - it gives a moment of clarity, it helps you (re)define your purpose. And in those moments of clarity we're reminded of how very fragile and unexpected life can be. I'm not here to preach, but at that moment, standing in a crowd of mourning men, women and children, I remembered that I am alive.

Silly, right? Silly that it sometimes (often) takes a tragedy to realize we need to make the most of our existence. Silly that by the time lots of people remember to live, time no longer cooperates. Perhaps death or being touched by death isn't the real tragedy, maybe the most heartbreaking of all is how empty life can sometimes be when we forget to live. Routines, compliance, day-to-days; a passive life with little, if any, actual living.

Death is a very rude reflection of life. A reminder that we've only got this one chance to be the best version of the person we envision when we're allowed no boundaries. So dream big, love wholly, sing loudly, and live knowing you've made the most of your life. That is, after all, your legacy.

les artistes

2010-05-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

I've never really considered myself an artist; ya, I like to paint, sometimes sketch, and make things with my hands, but mostly I do it as an outlet to the chaos that happens in my head. But last night I sat in a movie theatre, lemonade in cup holder, and watched one of the best docs I've ever seen, Exit Through the Gift Shop. Now, this isn't your average doc, it's not about sharks or religion or politics. And perhaps the greatest thing about this doc was how poignant and reflective of society the story actually was. The fundamental success of Exit Through the Gift Shop, in this psuedo-artiste's humble opinion, was that like a regular story there was a plot, a setting, and some seriously well developed characters.

Let's pause for a moment. What I'm about to write is a rather large spoiler. But as this is a true story, you might already know the details. If not, look away - but if you don't really care all that much, keep reading.

Three parts of this doc struck me most.

First the main character, Thierry. At first you kind of love the guy, he seemed a bit off and a little crazy, but mostly he was an endearing Frenchmen following his passion. But as the story unfolded, and subsequently as his life unfolded, you get a glimpse into what damage an ego can do. And oftentimes his art wasn't all that new, original or inspiring. He just took what other's did and amplified it. Perhaps there's a lesson to be learned here in the art of plagiarism - the copycat's point of view - but I doubt that Thierry could see past his own perceived genius to find it. So something as raw and wholly unscripted as street art became a vehicle for his egomaniacal point of view. And that saddens a part of me. But the other part remembers that art, in a lot of ways, is a bit egomaniacal and self-centered, and the beauty of that - what makes it really amazing - is when you can take those notions and find the humour and irony in them.

The second part was the whole idea of street art in and of itself. It's really such a beautiful thing. So simple (but not really) and completely reflective of society. My two favourites have always been Shepard Fairey and Banksy (duh!) but to be able to put a personality to their reputations - to have them become real people - was so inspiring. And to see what the life of a street artiste really is like - the 4am shadow crawling, the nitty gritty of it all - reminded me how little we appreciate the moments of art that figuratively litter our city streets in an attempt to provoke even the tiniest bit of thought in the most obscure of places.

Lastly, I was completely captivated by both Fairey and Banksy. Fairey is a bit more mainstream - he toes the line of art and ego so very well; and his work is beautiful, original, and thoughtful. People may not know his name specifically, but they know his work, they know Obama's Hope campaign, and they have definitely stumbled upon an Obey sticker at some point in their lives. But Banksy, the mystery that surrounds him, intrigues me. In my eyes he is a legend; a god amongst mere mortals. His art is such a perfect and witty narrative of the complex, often crazy, society we live in. I have an even greater appreciation for these two men after seeing this doc - they're effing brilliant.

So if you're reading this, and you want to spend a few bucks and a few hours doing something that will change your view on street art, I highly recommend checking out Exit Through the Gift Shop at AMC Yonge and Dundas (it's only showing there and it's only showing for a limited time). I promise it's worth it!

the waiting game...

2010-05-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

sucks.

But we play it all our lives; waiting for loved ones, waiting for decisions to be made, waiting for life to catch up, waiting to exhale.

The past few months have been a huge testament to my patience; and truth-be-told, I never fancied myself a patient person. But I've done my due diligence, I've put in my time, I've taken the steps to begin building my future - but as the american likes to point out to me quite often, you can only control what you can control. So I sit here, hoping for the best (but preparing for the worst - b/c I'd like to be ready if life decides to test my sanity), dreaming of possibilities, setting lofty and take-my-breath-away sort of goals; but all the while, I wait, because I've done all I can, and the control no longer lays in my hands.

I've held my breath for a quite a while now. But I can feel the tides of change lapping closer to shore. I'm encouraged, inspired, and motivated to make certain it sticks this time - I've worked far too hard.

After all, my horoscope says May is going to be a fantastic month. Six days in, and I have a feeling Susan Miller might be right.

Here's hoping...